The Apple Monkeys

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful orchard.

And in this orchard lived some monkeys. The monkeys loved their orchard. It was a simple life, with each day full of play as the monkeys swung from branches, or basked in the sun that broke between the leaves. But of course, it wasn’t all play. A few times a day, the monkeys would have to stretch out an arm and pick a juicy apple to eat, or take a few apples to the monkeys that were too young, or had fallen from trees and hurt their tails, or were simply too old to swing anymore. And of course, the occasional stray bear would enter the orchard and take a monkey for its tea. But all in all, monkey life was perfect. It was exactly how monkey life should be.

But, one day, sat at the base of a tree was a sly monkey. As he looked up at the canopy, he noticed that the most successful monkeys were the ones who were strong enough and smart enough to climb to the top of the tree and fetch the juiciest apples. And being the nasty monkey that he was, he watched with burning jealousy as these leaders of the troupe would share the juicy apples and get laid. He knew he was too lazy to climb that far, and the thought of sharing any juicy apples made him dizzy.

So the sly monkey hatched a plan.

During the night, he dug a pit in the middle of the orchard. As the sun rose and all the monkeys came down from the trees to stretch, one by one they fell into the pit, until the whole troop sat at the bottom, rubbing their eyes, wondering what had happened.

“My fellow monkeys” yelled the sly monkey from the edge of the pit, “today, I have saved your lives! I have discovered a way that will keep you safe from marauding bears and will allow us all to eat the juiciest apples from the top of the trees. We will build walkways that cover every inch of our orchard, we will construct platforms that mean you no longer have to climb to get there and we will make a single gateway to your new home in the ground. Around the edge of the pit we will sharpen sticks, so that no bear can possibly come in.”

The other monkeys listened and thought about what the sly monkey had said. It was hard work to climb the trees. The orchard was unsafe from climbing bears. If they only had to walk to get their apples, they would save themselves a huge amount of effort. And the pit wasn’t so uncomfortable, and was surely a whole lot better than being eaten. What a good idea!

As they applauded their new leader, he set out the plan for them. They would leave the pit once a day and each be given a job to do. Some would cut down trees from the edge of the orchard for building materials, others would construct the walkways and platforms; the remainder would collect the apples which would be stored at the edge of the pit and shared out at the end of the day by the sly monkey.

Soon, the plan was in full-swing. The orchard filled with complex structures; wooden paths led throughout the trees, the air filled with the sounds of the progress. Monkeys would file throughout the branches high on the walkways, picking every apple they could see before returning to the pit where they would lay their spoils at the edge, ready to be given out before bedtime.

The sly monkey sat at the edge of the pit, drunk with his new power and bloated from eating the finest apples which he would steal at the end of each day. And with this choice of riches, he too could finally get laid. Life was good.

At least, life was good for the sly monkey. By now, time had passed and the troop had all but forgotten about life in the orchard before the progress had started. They led, cramped in the pit, their bodies unfit from gorging on apples and no longer swinging through the trees. Every now and then, one of the old leaders would feel the instinct of leadership and fight for a more comfortable spot in the pit, lashing out at monkeys that got in their way. Younger monkeys would struggle with the knowledge that no matter how hard they worked, they couldn’t sit on the edge of the pit like the sly monkey and would riot with frustration until they were forced into a corner and starved of apples as punishment. Others would look at the twisted framework that now littered the once beautiful orchard and feel the urge to swing through the barely noticeable branches, but would soon forget their wish when they were led out to work for hours each day. And others would sit in apathy; their instinct to swing so powerful that their hearts would break with the knowledge that this would never happen. These monkeys were the saddest of all.

And if any monkey ever questioned why this life was so hard, the sly monkey would sit at the edge of the pit and tell them stories of bears; of horror and death and blood and guts and of times before the progress, when monkeys had nothing – no pit, no walkways… no real leader who would sacrifice for the common good of the whole troop. A monkey whose motto was: An Apple For Every Monkey.

But just as the last memories of the once beautiful orchard were swept away, one monkey took a deep breath. His nose filled with the smell of rotting apples falling from the edge of the pit. The sly monkey couldn’t possibly throw all of the apples into the pit at the end of each day – there were far too many for the troop - so the now curious monkey wondered if collecting this many apples was such a good idea. As he pondered this, he also thought about the orchard and how each passing day it was getting smaller and smaller; the trees being used as wood for the progress. This seemed extremely silly. Why build more walkways? There were already far too many apples collected than could be eaten – most were going to waste. But at this rate, the orchard would disappear and there would be no apples at all! And there had been not a single bear through the orchard in months… in fact, he had never even seen a bear; it was only the sly monkey's stories that kept him in fear. Why have all this protection when there were no bears to get in!? If anything, the spikes at the edge of the pit were more useful in stopping monkeys getting out…

And at that moment, as the curious monkey looked up at his smirking, bloated leader sleeping at the edge of the pit, he understood.

He stood up, his tail unfurling, his fur standing on edge, his mouth dry with the anticipation of telling everyone what he had learned.

“Wake up!” shouted the curious monkey with his arms in the air. “Wake up my friends! I have something of great importance to tell you! Wake up and learn that this life we lead is not a monkey life! Wake up and see this orchard for what it really is!”

As the troupe slowly roused and turned with puzzled faces, the sly monkey shuffled uneasily next to the piles of rotting apples. He edged forward at the lip of the pit, his hand clutching a particularly large and juicy apple which he aimed at the back of the curious monkey’s head. His feet clutched into fists as he waited for the curious monkey to say his piece… he could feel that his reign was soon to be over.

The curious monkey began to talk, his voice filled with passion and vigour. He told them of swinging through trees, of freedom to climb and to play. Of the disappearing forest, of the destruction that the progress was doing, of the wasted spoils of their labour, of the disparity in sharing the wealth, of the lost instincts of monkeykind and of the servitude to which they had succumbed…

The light of morning broke in tangled shafts to the orchard floor below, the haze of day filling the air. As the beams touched the curious monkey, his fur glistened with dew and perspiration, outlining him in a halo of golden sparks. The sly monkey raised his hand to throw the fatal apple... and paused… he knew it was over…

And a voice broke from the troupe; now sat and alert with mouths open at the spectacle before them. It rippled through the crowd in a slow wave, building strength in an unrelenting blast until it struck the curious monkey like a cold rush of winter air.

“shut up and lie down. You think too much”.